Breath, You are going to be okay!


You’re going to be okay.

Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.

You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.’

Daniell Koepke


« My Anxiety », a poem by blacurly

Carrie Mae Weems, Kitchen table series, 1990 (

Photo by Carrie Mae Weems, Kitchen table series, 1990 (

Dia duduk di ruang makan

mengambil tempat di sudut meja makan

dalam kediaman dan kesedihan

Dia merenung di sudut itu

menunggu mereka

yang akan datang

dari kekelaman

dan menghabiskan semangatnya

Mereka datang seperti iblis

mencari jiwa yang kosong

di sudut-sudut ruang

Mereka datang untuk mencabik-cabik jiwanya

– blacurly

Depok, 19 Februari 2018


I was reading an article about “a spark and a flint”, this morning. I wasn’t actually reading it, just screening the article and found an eye-catchy word called “INFLAMMABLE”.

Inflammable is just a simple word but made me so excited to use it.

Inflammable means easy to be burn, can catch fire easily.

Inflammable is often use to label an object.

Inflammable is used as a warning ‼️‼️

But, here i try to use this word differently in my perspective 😂


“Love Hurts” by Nazareth

Love Hurts versi Nazareth selalu menjadi favorit saya sejak 2003, aslinya “love hurts” ini pertama diperkenalkan pada tahun 1960 oleh The Everly Brothers dan menjadi lagu top internasional tahun 1975 oleh band rock asal skotlandia bernama Nazareth.

Nazareth membawakan lagu ini dalam bentuk “power ballad”. Power ballad itu apa? mari kita lihat versi kamus seperti apa. mendefiniskan “power ballad” sebagai lagu hard rock/heavy metal yang sangat emosional dengan tempo lambat dinyayikan secara dramatis menggunakan banyak instrumen akustik dan synthesizer. mengartikan sebagai sebuah lagu rock emosional yang umumnya fokus pada cinta yang disampaikan dengan vokal yang sangat powerful

Lagu ini merupakan “my-toxic-relationship-song”. “Toxic relationship” bagi saya bukan berasal dari hubungan kita sama pacar saja tetapi sama sahabat juga bisa terjadi.

“Love hurts
Love scars
Love wounds and marks”
Lagu ini dimulai dengan kutipan diatas, dimana menegaskan pada kita bahwa cinta itu  menyakitkan, memberikan luka dan meninggalkan bekas.
“Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain”
Padahal  orang yang mendapatkan sakit dan luka yang disebabkan oleh cinta kadang tidak cukup kuat untuk menerima hal seperti itu. Ada orang bisa cepat sembuh dari luka (ditandai dengan cepat move on), ada juga orang yang tidak cepat sembuh dari luka (ditandai dengan galau berkepanjangan), ada yang sulit untuk bisa sembuh bahkan tidak bisa sembuh dari luka (tahap dimana kita mulai masuk ke level stress dan depresi karena luka itu semakin melebar dari hati menuju pikiran kita). [suvei pribadi curhatan temen. so, belum tentu akurat wkakaka]
“Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain”
Cinta itu seperti awan yang menahan banyak hujan, saya sendiri bingung sih bagaimana menafsirkan kalimat ini wakakak. So, i’ll continue it later on my next post yaa, soalnya saya sedang lapar dan tidak sanggup melanjutkan blog ini hahaha.
Kwitang, 2017.

Today, I am grateful

“Today, I am grateful. And I understand that this feeling will not last every moment of every day. I have my ups and downs as I am sure you do. I have times when I wish that I didn’t go through what I went through because of how painful it was. Because of how painful it is. But I wouldn’t be the person I am if I didn’t go through what I went through. So I am trying to be more intentional about practising gratitude. 
Today, I am grateful.

Grateful to be alive.

Grateful to have survived the darkest times of my life.

Grateful for the voice I have.

Grateful for my resilience.

Grateful for my ability to put my feelings and thoughts into words.

Grateful for the love around me. 

Grateful for my health.

Grateful for my heart and its kindness that hurts sometimes. But it’s worth it.

Grateful for my sensitivity. 

Grateful for the voice inside of me that always reminds me to be considerate of others’ feelings.

Grateful for the compassion of the world towards me.
I may not feel grateful at night, the hardest time of day, when all of the negative voices in my head wake up and scream louder than my own thoughts. When the pain inside of me comes from every bone and every tissue and I have no idea how to relieve it except by trying to sleep. And even then, the nightmares wake me up. The wars I fight at night give me an opportunity to be a hero every morning and every day by not surrendering to the pain. 
I am grateful for the strength that God and the universe have been planting inside of me. Some days I feel like I don’t even deserve that. But I have to remind myself not to give in to the voices that destroyed me. 
So today, I am grateful.”

~Najwa Zebian

Dear future me

“Dear Future Me, I hope that today you are the person you always set out to be. I hope you accomplished everything that they said you could never do. How many lives do you change in a day? Do you speak out for what is right, or sit there regretting your silence? I hope you are what I’m not. I hope you speak out with such a voice that everyone around you can hear it even when you aren’t speaking. I want you to have power in the way you speak- giving light into someone’s world filled with darkness. I hope you live as if you are the only one capable of making a difference, and embracing that ability in the best way possible. You don’t need to have your name written in the text of a history book, but you need to live to make your words give life to the ones who thought they didn’t deserve one. 
When you read this letter, I hope you are somewhere where all of you previous goals can be made accomplishments. I hope you still remember your past, and pass on your story to those who need to hear it most- to show them that they are not alone. I hope you achieved that brighter, happier life you used to daydream about when you were younger. I hope all of your dreams became your reality, and I hope that eventually your nightmares dissolved into the depths of your past- never haunting you again. I hope that you one day took off the mask that hid the truth. That you broke down the barriers you built, and learned to trust someone- really trust them- somewhere along your journey. I hope that you look in the mirror with a small, true smile and be proud of what you see. I hope that you learned to break through the surface of the water drowning you- anxiety. I hope that you now see the world from a whole new perspective, and learned to enjoy the sun more than the rain.. Most of all, I hope you learned to speak. To speak in such a voice that must be heard; a voice that embroiders your words onto a heart that needed them most. I hope you are happy, and teach ones who are like the old you to be happy as well. I hope that today you are the person you always set out to be.


Your Past”

Written by wnq-writers, found from Different Horizon